No, I Will Not Marry Your Son – The Life of a Nigerian Girl

No, I Will Not Marry Your Son – The Life of a Nigerian Girl

There are some things that we go through as girls that we just can’t help but talk about. It could be random men saying “baby I just wanna know you” or random aunties that insist on you marrying their son. Either way, these cringe-worthy situations are inevitable so it’s best you be like Tishe, Ushang and I – write about it! This post is a collaboration between myself and the writers of Everything in Between (Tishe and Ushang). We’re going to be talking about the life of a typical Nigerian girl. Make sure you head on over to their blog (click here) to read their storytimes. I guarantee smiles and laughter or your money back!

Now, here are 8 perfect scenarios that sum up the life of a typical Nigerian girl.

  1. Trying to be modest in the heat. This country is undeniably hot. Boys are free to walk around shirtless. No one really cares. We, on the other hand, have to make sure we’ve covered 75% of our body or someone’s going to call you a few names. It’s worse when there’s no light and you’re somewhere public like the bank. It’s hot and everyone is sweaty. Some intelligent ones will decide that deodorant is optional, so that your discomfort can be intensified x1000. The heat won’t even allow you concentrate in school. You’ll be fanning yourself with one hand and trying to take notes with another. The worst part of it all is that no matter how hot it gets, you must remain modest before one amebo aunty starts talking.
  2. Being the errand girl. Whenever I want to escape being sent on an errand by my parents, I stay in my room and plug in my earphones so I can say that I didn’t hear anyone calling me. We’ve all experienced our mum or dad calling us to get something that was right beside them the whole time e.g. the remote. My sister was telling me about the night that my dad kept sending her on so many errands that she literally had to stop and ask him, “am I a robot?”
  3. You’re allowed to talk about your dad’s side of the family to your mum. Have you ever had any of those conversations with your mum, when you just gossip about all the people on your dad’s side of the family? I definitely have. There’s always that one aunty that you have to talk about. Maybe she’s the one that always has something to say about your hair or your weight. She could also be the one that calls your dad to say she saw you out with a boy one afternoon. Either way, your dad’s family is a common topic of discussion. If you’re Yoruba, you must have heard your mum say these words at least once: awon ebi baba e…
  4. Waking up early for church. I don’t know about you guys but sometimes I just want to stay home. The drama that ensues on Sunday mornings is too much to handle. I’m usually quick to get ready because I don’t wear makeup that often. When my mum is finally ready, I become the designated photographer. That’s when my sisters decide that they also want to take pictures for ‘the gram’. Before you know it, we’re thirty minutes late because our living room became Studio 24 for a while. After you’ve sat through a three-hour service and it is time to go home, your parents decide that it’s time to greet the congregation. This will take another 45 minutes before everyone is finally in the car and ready to leave.
  5. Language and extended family gatherings. I’ve noticed that nowadays, a lot of us can’t speak our languages fluently. At home, this isn’t a problem for me because I understand Yoruba. When I’m with my extended family though, that is when the wahala begins. Everyone expects you to be speaking *insert your language here* like a pro. I have aunties that will pretend not to understand English just so I can speak Yoruba. Ata family meeting, we were supposed to introduce ourselves in Yoruba but I said mine in French because I speak more French than I do Yoruba. I feel for the people with English names. They are the ones that can’t get away with telling older people only their first names. You can’t simply say your name is Sarah. Sarah what? They want to know your last name so they can relate with you on a more traditional basis.
  6. Everyone wants you to marry their son. My earliest memory of a scenario like this was when I was about four or five. The hairdresser came to the house and while she was plaiting my hair, she said that I’m very beautiful and I must marry her son. I don’t know why I remember this. No matter what age you are, there’s a lady that wants you to marry her son. You’ll know it’s serious when she gives said son your number and discreetly discusses the wedding’s aso ebi with your mum.
  7. Must you always go to their house? Can’t they come to your house? Or you don’t have a house? If you’ve never heard those words before, you must not be Nigerian then. When I was younger, going to a friend’s house was a struggle. I first had to make sure said friend had been to my house or that was the first time going to their house. My parents wanted to speak with their parents and make sure I wasn’t going to visit ritualists. I needed to give a week’s notice before I could go anywhere. I think that’s why Nigerians are such good event planners. Sleepovers were a completely different thing. Why must you go and sleep in another person’s house? Do you want them to think we are suffering you?
  8. Eys fine girl! This is what some intelligent specimen will call you to get your attention as you’re walking down the road. Sometimes it’s when you go to the market that you’ll be called all sorts of names. I was in Wuse Market once, and this gentleman not-so-subtly told me that he would give me a million Naira if I left my mother and followed him. Imagine! All these young men that seem to think they have acquired wife all of a sudden. Some of them are even more creative. They’ll be telling you that they recognise you and they’ve seen you before. Seen me where, please?? In the same Wuse Market, on the same day, another gentleman grabbed my arm and said, “AH MY SISTER! DON’T YOU REMEMBER THE FACE?” Uncle please, which face? I don’t know you from anywhere.

This definitely isn’t all. There are so many other scenarios. Yes, they are quite frustrating but I must admit, they make interesting stories. If you’ve been through any of these, feel free to tell me your experience in the comment section. Make sure you visit Everything in Between to read their storytime posts.

Everything in Between is a blog that’s basically centred on food, art and fashion. So head on over to their website and show some love. You’ll be very entertained by their musings on life and their positive take on every situation. Feel free to spend time going through all their stories and pictures. I’m sure you’ll love it just as much as you love this blog or even more!

Follow their Instagram page @everythinginbetweendot_com

And Ushang’s art page @anitaart (her drawings are really nice!)

 

 

Gurara Falls pt.2

As promised, these are the pictures of me and my friends at Gurara Falls, Niger State. This post is dedicated to Alexis because we went on this trip on her birthday. And also because she’s an amazing supporter of MollyandCo! 

Photo credit goes to everyone, especially Nafisa and Ijeoma. Make sure you like and share.

Enjoy!

Gurara Falls pt.1

Gurara Falls, Niger State.

For our last ever field trip, we went on a journey from Abuja to Niger State. Gurara Falls is a magical place, but it’s not for the weak. When we were climbing rocks, I kept wondering if that was the end of my life. I was so worried that I would fall inside the water or slip off the rocks. My friends on the other hand, were busy jumping from rock to rock and walking around barefoot like they’d done it countless times before. Joshua said he was taken back to his roots. 

Gurara Falls, although a little too adventurous for me, was a wonderful place to visit. It just shows you how beautiful Nigeria is. The rocks were large and scattered everywhere. There was a steep climb down to the area where the waterfall was. The waterfall itself was just so beautiful. When you arrive at the entrance, you won’t see it  at first, but you’ll hear it. It sounds the way you imagine a waterfall would sound. Like the strong current of a river. 

These pictures were taken by me and my friends, Nafisa and Ijeoma. These are the pictures of the waterfall and the landscape. In my next post, you’ll find pictures of us, the tourists.

Fun facts about Gurara Falls:

  • A hunter named Buba discovered the site in 1745.
  • It was a sacrificial ground to the gods, Gura and Rara. That’s how the name Gurara was formed. 
  • The water is clear during the dry season and brownish during the rainy season.
  • Some Europeans turned it into a tourist site and stopped the sacrificial activities in the early 1900’s.
  • The water gets it source from Kaduna and ends at Lokoja. 
  • It has about 25 different species of fish, with two being dangerous. 
  • A few people have been buried there. If any person dies in Gurara Falls, the body must not be taken away. Otherwise, terrible things start to happen to the person’s family. 
  • Be careful not to touch the fish or you might disappear. 
  • In the olden days, if you wore red or white to the site, you would disappear. 
  • The water has healing properties. 

With that, we have come to the end of this post. I hope you learnt something new today. Gurara Falls is a wonderful place to visit whenever you’re feeling adventurous or you want to explore the beauty of Nigeria. I would love to go again.

Like and share!

Flavours of the Month – April

It’s been a while, I know. But you know with school and everything… 
Anyway, I have a new idea for this blog. I’m going to start doing a “Flavours of the Month” tag every month. Basically, this is a list of the things that interest me and I’ll update it every month. There will be different categories like books, music, Bible plans, tv shows, movies, food, etc. 

I’m really excited about this and I hope you guys check in every month to see what’s new. Enough rambling!

Books

  • A Study In Charlotte – Brittany Cavallaro 
  • Black Box – Cassia Leo
  • Highly Illogical Behaviour – John Corey Whaley

I finished reading Black Box at the ending of last month and read A Study In Charlotte immediately afterwards because it was a bit lighter in content. Highly Illogical Behaviour was short and sweet. I enjoyed reading them and I suggest you guys check them out. 

Movies

I don’t really watch movies because I don’t have the time or the patience so I’ve only seen one in the past month, and it is

  • Hidden Figures 

Bible Plans

I have Bible plans that I read for myself, and I have Bible plans that I read so I know how to advise people. So yeah. I have a variety of plans. I use the YouVersion Bible App. 

  • Fighting FOMO
  • NIV Once-A-Day Bible for Teens
  • Depression: A Devotional For The Wounded Spirit
  • How to Share Your Faith 
  • Holy Emotions – Biblical Responses to Every Challenge

    Music 

    My taste in music is generally quite mainstream, to be honest. But I don’t mind. If I hear it and I like it, I download it. I don’t actively search for music like I did before because I have no time for that. So the songs are: 

    • Humble – Kendrick Lamar
    • Temper remix – Skales ft. Burna Boy
    • Shape of You – Ed Sheeran
    • In My Dreams – Ruth B. 
    • Lost Boy – Ruth B. 
    • Naked – Brymo ft. Esse
    • Unforgettable – French Montana ft. Swae Lee
    • Despacito – Luis Fonsi, Daddy Yankee ft. Justin Bieber
    • Link Up – Ycee ft. Reekado Banks 
    • Kontrol – Maleek Berry

      TV

      • Pretty Little Liars
      • Empire
      • Reign
      • The Wendy Williams Show
      • Speechless
      • Life 101
      • Blackish

      YouTube Channels

      • Nella Rose
      • Shirley B. Eniang
      • Wendy Williams
      • SisiYemmieTV
      • Jamie and Nikki
      • PrettyLittleFro
      • Green Beauty Channel
      • Habiba Da Silva
      • Teen Vogue
      • Button Poetry
      • Crash Course
      • SlamFind

        We have come to the end of this post. If you guys have any new stuff for me to check out (because I’m actually so boring), let me know! Especially books and music. Thanks for reading. Make sure you like, comment and share!

        Natural Hair: Updated Wash Day Routine

        It’s another post about hair! I’m excited. Are you? 

        Anyway, this is my second post on my wash-day routine because I’ve learnt so much about my hair and what works for me since the last hair post. I realised that some of the products I was using just didn’t work so well for me so I had to replace them (sorry Cantu!) 

        Before we begin, I’d like to point out that I was doing THE MOST to my hair. I used TEA at some point. So if it seems like a lot, trust me, it is. This is because I basically neglected my hair for about two months and I felt like I was slacking. It was worth it though because the amount of hair I lost will SHOCK YOU. 

        THE STEPS

        Step 1: Prepoo

        My hair was as dry as the Sahara Desert…You know what I said about neglecting it. I hardly ever prepoo-ed because I felt it was a waste of time. News flash! It is NOT. It made detangling so much easier and my hair felt softer and lighter. 

        My hair was already in chunky twists so I worked in those sections. I kept green tea bags in hot water and waited for it to cool down before I took them out. Then I poured it into a spray bottle and spritzed my hair with green tea. Immediately after, I drenched my hair in my oil mixture, covered it with a shower cap and let it marinate for thirty minutes (could be longer depending on what you want.) 

        Note: Green tea helps to reduce shedding and breakage.

        Oils: lemongrass, olive, tea tree, jojoba, coconut, Shea butter

        Step 2: Shampoo
        I used my favourite brand’s shampoo (Aunt Jackie’s) and washed my hair in four sections. There isn’t much to this step. I just washed my hair twice and rinsed it out. I twisted back my sections to stop them from shrinking completely and tangling. 

        Step 3: Conditioning and Detangling

        I applied my wonderful, magical conditioner (Aunt Jackie’s) onto each section and detangled with a wide tooth comb. I was so surprised by the amount of hair I lost. When I was done detangling, I let my hair sit under the shower cap for another thirty minutes before I rinsed it out. I tell you, my hair felt like cotton clouds. It was so soft and curly. It felt like magic. 

        Aunt Jackie’s: quench! Moisture-Intensive Leave-In Conditioner ; in control Moisturizing and Softening Conditioner; oh so clean! Moisturizing and Softening Shampoo

        Up there, those are my Aunt Jackie’s products and they work fantastically on my hair. 

        Step 4: Styling and Moisturizing

        Here, I used the LCO method (Leave-in / liquid, Cream, Oil) to moisturize my hair, after which I twisted my hair into sixteen chunky twists. I combed out each section before I twisted it up but barely any hair came out. It was fantastic. 

        Coconut oil, Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie and Aunt Jackie’s quench! Moisture-Intensive Leave-In Conditioner

        Those are the products I used to moisturize.  

        If you can’t tell, Aunt Jackie’s is my favourite brand right now because their products make my hair feel soft, and they make detangling super quick and easy. 

        Also, the green tea did a great job! I’m going to be doing that every time I wash my shirt because I suffer from serious shedding. This time, I barely shed anything. Proof? Look below. I kid you not, green tea is about to be my new best friend. 

        All the hair I lost from detangling. I was shocked! Still am!

        So we have reached the end of this post. Make sure you share this with your friends if it’s useful to you. I encourage everyone to go natural because it’s such a great experience and it teaches you a lot about the health of your hair. Thanks for reading!

        Wonderful News!

        I’m excited to announce that anyone whoever wants pictures from me is going to have to pay. Don’t worry, my prices are fair. 

        I have realized that I’m not too young to make money. So it’s no longer business as usual. No more “Fikayo please send the pictures from yesterday.” That’s old news! Now it’s “Fikayo how much are the pictures from yesterday?”

        Yes. You will be a contributing factor to my financial growth. Isn’t that wonderful? Again, my prices are extremely fair. Contact me personally for more information please. 

        Random Pictures from My Camera

        As you can probably tell, these are just a bunch of random pictures from my camera. I like pictures: taking them, looking at them, even deleting them… It’s my favourite pastime. 

        River Thames
        Big Ben !!!

        A flower from my compound

        Yet another flower from my compound
        I went for this food festival…

        Sarius Palmetum and Botanical Garden … Beautiful place
        I dunno what plant this is supposed to be but it’s fake.
        Last year’s Christmas decor

        A bird and NEPA waya…with some green at the side.
        That’s where the water is.
        We used to have a looott of plants…they’re all dead now.
        Residential area.
        Let’s take pictures at Sarius Palmetum and Botanical Garden. Wonderful scenery, I tell you.

        P.s. Don’t steal any of these; they’re all my babies and I love them dearly. Like and share!

        Do I really need so many friends?

        I have come to the realisation that I don’t. I thought I needed to be liked by every single person and it bothered me a lot when someone didn’t say hey first thing in the morning. So so naïve. 

        To be honest, being around so many people at a time can be quite exhausting. The sad thing us, some people actually think it’s their duty to make everyone happy. Er…No it’s not. If you don’t feel comfortable being around a thousand people a day, then don’t. You don’t necessarily have to become an outcast, but you won’t die if you’re not the life of the party. Chances are, you’ll find a fellow “old soul” and you’ll bond. 

        I always felt like I HAD to attend every outing. I needed a social life more than I needed oxygen. I wanted everything the world had to offer. I forgot that the world offers The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. 

        Now I know that IT IS NOT BY FORCE. Don’t lose yourself in the process of gaining the world. I know I’ve changed a lot. I’m a lot less rude and a lot more considerate/apologetic. I finally got the secret to a happy life. It’s not about how many friends you have. It’s about how much impact you make. Are you shiny on the outside and dull on the inside? You can be as kind as possible, as generous as possible, and as thoughtful as possible WITHOUT being weighed down by the world around you. Don’t be that person whose life seems flashy but their personality is rubbish.

        Sure, some people enjoy having as many friends as their hands can reach. They suck the “friends” in like a vacuum and never let go. But how many of those people actually have your best interests at heart? How many of them think about you when you’re not around? Fake friends are everywhere. I mean, everywhere. If you’re comfortable knowing this and you don’t mind it, go ahead with your life. You can stop reading now. But if you’re like me, and you get a little anxious because there are just so many people that you find it hard to breathe, take a step back. Now take another step. And another. 

        Who are your real friends? Know them. Tell them. Don’t be someone’s “trophy friend”. Don’t let someone use you because you’re pretty, popular or loved by everyone. Be someone’s friend because you sincerely enjoy their company and they do yours.

        Feel free to let go of toxic energy and don’t get caught up with “Internet Friends” as well. Don’t get distracted. If you’re reading this, you’re probably young. You still have your life to figure out. Don’t spend all your time with your friends to appease them. Sometimes, do stuff that’ll build you up not bring you down. 

        Go places because you want to. Do things because you want to. Hang out with people because you want to. Not because someone says you have to.

        x

        Lakeview

        Hey you guys!

        I’m so excited to share some of the pictures I took with my loves. We’re all about capturing the moment and disturbing the neighbourhood. I really had so much fun and I’m so grateful for times like this. Enjoy!

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        contemplating life in an awkward stance
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        idk if she’s fighting or trying to dance

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        nice mugshot

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        who makes this face?
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        superwoman
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        i think something was actually funny

        screenshot_2016-12-17-23-54-54_1screenshot_2016-12-17-23-56-18_1screenshot_2016-12-18-00-00-19_1screenshot_2016-12-18-00-02-10_1screenshot_2016-12-18-00-03-50_1screenshot_2016-12-18-00-07-04_1screenshot_2016-12-18-10-32-49_11

        screenshot_2016-12-18-09-36-03_1
        lone ranger
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        snapchat worthy!

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        Tell a friend to tell a friend about MollyandCo!

        Laters…

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